Picture this. Your brand new neighbor is knocking at your door, smiling and holding the Swiffer you lent her the day before. She’s very nice – warm and fun and you have your fingers crossed that you will become BFF’s. SO – do you open the door and invite her in???
GASP – but she might see your house! The one you live in, but haven’t had a chance to “prep for guests.” You know, the “Battle stations everyone! Vacuums out! Dusters at the ready! Throw all the toys away!” kind of prep?
I’m here to tell you to open that door wide and let that new friend in – laundry mountain be damned. Actually, a messy house can be a key tool in helping you make an awesome new connection. And, to be clear, I’m not advising you LET your house get dirtier on purpose. Rather – whatever level of clean is good for your family is fine for friends too!
Here are three things you are saying (without words) to a potential new friend when you leave those corner cobwebs untouched:
1. “I’m not judging you.”
When I talk with women about their biggest fear in making new friends, it’s always this: “I am afraid she will judge me.” I get it. As women, we are hounded on all sides by requirements on how we must look, how we must act, what we must eat. When you leave some dirty dishes in the sink and some toothpaste spots on the bathroom mirror, you’re saying to your new friend, “Hey, I’m not expecting perfection, from you or me.” It’s a bold move, and you’ll see women sense it and relax when they walk into your house.
2. “I care about you.”
Hey, you could have spent this time cleaning your house. You could have rescheduled until a “better time” – aka after the cleaning lady comes. You could have made a date on the calendar three months from now when you had time to “get more organized” – but you didn’t do any of those things. You welcomed someone into your home…today, right now. You gave this woman priority. Your new friend will sense this, and appreciate it.
3. “I want you to know the real me, and I want to know the real you.”
Inviting someone into your messy house is like skipping three “friend dates” ahead. You are invested and interested in a real, authentic friendship instead of a phony acquaintance. Being vulnerable enough to open your door to a new friend who can actually see the crumbs on the floor is a loud and clear declaration that you’re looking for the real thing. She’ll sense it and respond in kind.
It takes guts to let someone in – both to your heart and to your home. Start with opening your door to your imperfect house, and it will give you courage to open the door to your imperfect heart. Be the first to take a stand against stupid expectations and put people first. You can do it!
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If you're ready to take a risk and begin to build a friendship, try a Craft Kit - it's the perfect reason to gather women to make art and make friends on purpose!